Even if I can't become a conservationist or park ranger, for whatever reason, I know that what I want to do, even if not in a professional setting, will in some way be related to the land. It's hard to describe how much I'm interested in geography, conservation, ecology and history now. “Natural history”, essentially. It's a shame I didn't take any related subjects in school. The only chance of my being accepted into college for a course in conservation is to utilise my previous and current voluntary work in Scotland and England. Even if I can't climb that ladder I know that I'll spend my life trying to better the land in some way, no matter how minute those changes might be.
I've heard so many times that a certain field is “so competitive,” or that I “need qualifications and lots of experience.” Well, yes, I know this. The same applies to the plethora of technological fields about which I spent most of my teenage years learning. 3D modelling, for example, which was essentially architecture mixed with artistry on a computer screen. From memory I can recall how to “bake normals and apply specular and diffuse texture maps to a 3D base mesh” and explain what “sub-surface and ambient occlusion rendering” is. I was also interested in game, level and web design, stop motion and 3D animation, video editing, and general computer tech support. I've thought about maybe applying that technical background to a more natural area of work and perhaps finding out about “geophys” or some sort of computer mapping, although I doubt I have the requisite technical knowledge or skill for this.
It's hard to describe how much one's mindset can change over time. I genuinely didn't think three years ago that I'd be working at an ancient farm in England and have a decent amount of countryside experience under my belt. For the vast majority of my life I was obsessed with technology. I think there was a time when I didn't know a single species of tree. Well, I probably did, but what reason would I have for knowing or caring about trees then? And even worse, there was a time I must admit that I was almost completely oblivious to the stunning scenery in my old back garden, in Scotland. You wake up every day and get on with living in a small town and have no interest or need to know about other parts of the world, even your own country. It's an alien mindset to me now, thankfully.
In many ways I find just the layout of the land, nature's aesthetic qualities and the history behind how it all came to be formed over millions of years far more interesting than human history. I've spoken a bit about this in one of my vlogs a while ago. From looking at nature from an aesthetic and artistic point of view to reading in an effort to build upon my small foundations with more and more scientific knowledge, everything I do now is in some way related to understanding and experiencing nature. So whatever happens, I'll probably end up doing something to help better the land itself. I'm fine with volunteering for the rest of my life, as long as it helps in some way.It's all experience I never thought I'd have. You have to be humble about these things.
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